So how do you keep track of they rhythm of words? Or how can I write it down in such a way that I compare the two lines of my rhymes? Does it matter if other people read at a different rhythm? Can I do more than just make it flow for my manner of speaking?
As you can tell the idea of getting the rhythm of each rhyme to math is only raising more questions. Until I can get a good idea of how to even chart down the rhythm I speak in I'm not sure I can really work on this (the math teacher in me needs a type of concise, exact manner of comparing). Would dots work?
Z is for the Zilker tree * * * * ** *
Spin around 'til you can't see * ** * * * *
Does this even matter? I kind of like this rhyme, but I'm not sure I could ever get every pair to have the same rhythm. Should I drive myself crazy trying?
2 comments:
Ahhhh, scansion, and a chance to be pedantic -- what a present for your beau-frere!
I'd start by learning a bit about the difference between iamb/trochee (used in 2/4 and 4/4 marches) and anapest/dactyl (used in 3/4 waltzes). Then look at somebody else's poetry (so long as it's written before 1960, when even English majors forgot meter) and apply it there. Then apply it to what you've written. Then tweak what you've written.
There's a decent intro online -- I'd avoid the wikipedia entries at first, as they start waaaay too technical.
But the reason to learn the metrical forms is that attaching such a label allows you to do exactly what you're asking about.
For example:
Z is FOR the ZILker TREE == HsHsHsH == iamb
SPIN aROUND til YOU can't SEE == HsHsHsH == iamb
Both of these lines maintain their meter internally. That's not true of
but the REAson to LEARN the METrical FORMS
There's no meter there, because the feet don't repeat (using s=soft and H=hard):
s s H s s H s H s s H
There's no two-syllable or three-syllable pattern than could be applied there. You get close to a "s s H" foot, but it breaks down with "LEARN the MET", which only has one soft syllable between two hards.
So you can whip the line into shape by adding a soft syllable or replacing a problem word -- replacing "METrical" with "biCAMeral" fixes the meter, even if it makes no sense:
but the REAson to LEARN the biCAMeral FORMS
"s s H s s H s s H s s H"
Hey, that's anapestic tetrameter!
The trick is, do I want the next line to work the same way, or not?
In your example, H s H s H s H applies to both lines, so they match.
If you're just doing two lines, that's exactly what you want, since you don't have enough room to make a rhythm scheme.
With a longer poem, you have the chance of varying the metrical scheme -- maybe a couplet of iambs, then some anapest. "Jabberwocky" does this to good effect in the first and last stanza -- smooth iambic tetrameter for the first three lines (which match the rest of the poem), but "and the MOME RATHS outGRABE" forces the reader to pause and the meter is broken. The effect is creepy, like drums in a forest: "buh-duh BOOM BOOM ba-BOOM"
Back to your couplet: You could get a slightly different flow by adding a soft syllable (like "so") to the front of the second line -- your reader will mentally add a pause there, since TREE and SPIN are both hard. But since they're on different lines, that may be the effect you're going for anyway.
Anyhow, I think it's worth the effort -- identifying the stresses is the hard part, but applying the labels and seeing if they match isn't a lot of work.
Rereading your original post, I don't think there's any real need for each page to have the same meter as each other page -- just that the lines on a page be consistent internally and with each other.
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